The Principles of Prayer XXXIV

 To hear some men tell it, God is akin to an angry schoolmarm, switch in hand, waiting for you to stumble so that He can exact vengeance. In their eyes, His singular desire is to rap your knuckles as often and as brutally as He can manage, just to see you wince in pain. If you are from a younger generation, you will never know the dread of having caught your teacher’s eye doing something she deemed worthy of the switch, then waiting in horrid anticipation for her to insist that you extend your hands in front of you, palms down.

Until the age of nine, when we were kicked out of Romania, I think I got more beatings from my teachers than I ever did from my mom or grandma. That I came from a family of believers was an open secret. That in the eyes of the system, my parents were seen as fanatics, cultists, and those who would impede the progress of the great and wondrous equalizing force known as Communism, was also an opinion those charged with educating the young shared with their party overseers.

I finished the third grade before we left Romania. It was a small village school with no more than four rooms in total, but somehow they managed to find a small alcove for me and another boy who was also the progeny of troublemakers, where we were kept isolated and taught separately from the rest of our peers. It wasn’t so much education as it was indoctrination.

It was my mother who taught me to read and do math. The only thing my teachers attempted to teach me was how barbarian my parents were for believing in Jesus, and how I should denounce them for their refusal to comply and go along with the approved narrative. One of the teachers liked to use an open hand as a means of discipline. In modern parlance, she had anger issues. It didn’t take much to set her off, and once she got started, ringing ears and double vision were only a matter of time.  

The other had a thick wooden ruler that was never out of reach, and in hindsight, I think she enjoyed the ritual of humiliation of having us stand with our hands outstretched, waiting for the sound of wood on flesh more than inflicting actual pain. There was an air of sadism in how she stretched out the discipline, pacing back and forth, tapping her ruler into her hand until she finally did the deed.

There was no one to complain to when it happened. Christians, by and large, were considered subhuman, and so filing a report with the administration would only serve to anger the teachers who would be told about it, but never disciplined for their actions. You waited for the day to end, knowing another would be short in coming, and hoped your fingers still worked well enough so you could play with your slingshot when you got home. High hopes indeed.  

It’s sad and tragic that this is the prism through which some see a good and loving God. Because they never took the time to study the Word and know God personally, they believe this image of God that others have presented to them, and so they live in constant fear, if not outright terror, of the switch.

I’m going to behave myself because if I don’t, God’s going to beat me, and I will flee the appearance of evil because not doing so will dishonor God and be detrimental to my spiritual growth are two very different mindsets.

If fear is one’s driving motivator, their heart will never be in what they’re doing. They will not be joyfully pursuing they ways of God with abandon and desire, but rather shuffle their feet, always keeping an eye on the things they think they missed out on, growing bitter in their hearts because they feel as though they’ve been kept from doing what they really want to do by the proverbial sword of Damocles hanging over their heads.

When love is the driving force behind our obedience, however, our eyes are firmly fixed upon Him, and we follow after Him with joy and purpose, knowing that the destination toward which He is leading us is the singular desire of our heart.  

2 Chronicles 16:9, “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.”

Does that sound like a God who's just looking for an excuse to whip you and grind your face into the dust of the earth? Does that sound like a God whose singular desire is to find a reason for punishing you? The eyes of the Lord run to and fro to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose hearts are loyal to Him. That’s His purpose in keeping an eye on His creation. Love and the desire to show Himself strong to those who trust in Him are God’s motivations, and not looking for reasons to punish His creation.

God doesn’t play gotcha with His children. If this were the case, none of us would be standing, and all would be limping about with hideous wounds and bruises, desiring nothing more than for it all to end.

Psalm 145:8-9, “The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy. The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works.”

Psalm 145:14, “The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down.”

It all revolves around the issue of the heart, and whether the heart is loyal to Him. If a heart is fully surrendered, though imperfect, it strives for perfection, placing obedience to the word and will of God above all else, and to such a heart the Lord is gracious and full of compassion.

If you think you’re reading the words of a perfect man, allow me to dispel you of this illusion. I still get flustered by slow drivers in the fast lane, I still get frustrated by people who don’t signal, but every day it’s less so. I don’t react to external forces the way I used to in my twenties or thirties, and I refuse to allow such things to steal my peace, for the most part.

It’s not so much that my flesh doesn’t have the desire to start waving my hands at the car in front of me, hoping they'll spot me in the rearview mirror; it’s because I know that doing so will not bring glory to God that I reign in my baser instinct and just let it go.  

With love in Christ,

Michael Boldea, Jr. 

Posted on 27 May 2025 | 11:49 am